I have lost count of how many times I have watched well intentioned adults misread a behavior and rush to fix the wrong thing.
This was one of those moments.
The Problem That Was Easy to Name
A high school teacher shared a frustration.
One of her students, Roderick, kept falling asleep in class. The pattern was consistent. The assumption felt obvious.
Late night gaming. Poor choices. A lack of discipline. An unhealthy habit that needed to be stopped.
By conventional standards, the case was closed.
Curiosity Changed the Entire Frame
Instead of starting with rules or consequences, we encouraged her to start somewhere else.
Get curious.
When she did, a very different story emerged.
Roderick shared that his father worked second shift. Most nights, his dad would get home late. After dinner, they would sit down together and play Call of Duty. Sometimes until three in the morning.
This was not rebellion.
This was not avoidance.
This was the only reliable window they had to be together.
What Looked Like a Problem Was Already an Investment
From the outside, it looked like a sleep issue.
From the inside, it was something else entirely.
-
emotional:
A consistent bonding ritual between a father and son navigating mismatched schedules. -
social:
Trust, communication, and shared experience built night after night. -
intellectual:
Strategy, coordination, problem solving, and focus embedded inside play.
Health was already happening. It just did not look like what the adults expected it to look like.
The Shift That Actually Worked
Once the teacher understood the context, her approach changed.
Instead of leading with correction, she led with respect.
She said, “I wish my dad and I had something like that. I care about your health too. What would it look like to start with just one more hour of sleep?”
Nothing was taken away.
No relationship was threatened.
And because his world was seen instead of judged, Roderick became open to adjusting his sleep.
This Is the Part Most Health Conversations Miss
We often treat health like a checklist.
Sleep more. Eat better. Reduce screen time.
But behavior does not exist in isolation.
Inside Health401k®, this is one of the clearest examples of why environment matters more than enforcement. When we understand what a behavior is protecting, we stop fighting it and start working with it.
Real health investments are often already present. They just require us to suspend certainty long enough to notice them.
The Quiet Takeaway
Before you fix a behavior, ask what it is preserving.
Before you remove a habit, ask what meaningful connection or alternate investment might disappear with it.
Sometimes the most powerful health investment is not what you add or subtract, but what you learn to see.
Ryan Travis Woods